As coaches, we operate in a space of deep trust and confidentiality. Our clients share their most vulnerable thoughts, fears, and aspirations with us. This privilege comes with significant responsibility—and sometimes, complex ethical dilemmas in coaching that aren’t easily resolved by simply reading the ICF Code of Ethics.
While the International Coaching Federation provides clear guidelines, real-world scenarios often present grey areas that require careful consideration and practical decision-making skills. We see coaches grapple with these situations regularly in our training programmes, and the questions are always the same: “What do I do when…?” and “How do I handle this without compromising my ethics?”
In this article, we will explore seven of the most common ethical dilemmas coaches face, providing you with practical frameworks and step-by-step solutions you can apply immediately. We’ll also share prevention strategies to help you avoid these situations altogether.
Understanding Ethical Decision-Making in Coaching
Before we dive into specific scenarios, let’s establish a framework for ethical decision-making. The ICF Code of Ethics is built on four core principles:
- Responsibility to clients
- Responsibility to practice and performance
- Responsibility to professionalism
- Responsibility to society
When facing an ethical dilemma, ask yourself:
- Which principle takes precedence in this situation?
- What would serve my client’s best interests?
- What would maintain the integrity of the coaching profession?
- What decision can I defend with confidence?
The key here is to develop a systematic approach that you can rely on when difficult situations arise.
1. The Dual Relationship Dilemma
The Scenario: A long-term client asks you to coach their spouse, or a friend wants to hire you for business coaching while maintaining your personal friendship.
Why It’s Problematic: Dual relationships can create conflicts of interest, compromise your objectivity, and blur professional boundaries. Information from one relationship may influence the other.
How to Solve It:
- Decline politely but firmly: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I maintain a policy of not coaching people who are connected to my existing clients.”
- Explain the reasoning: “This helps me maintain clear boundaries and ensures I can be fully present and objective with each client.”
- Offer alternatives: Provide referrals to other qualified coaches who can serve them well.
Prevention Strategy: Include a clause in your coaching agreement that addresses dual relationships. Be clear about your boundaries from the start.
2. The Confidentiality vs Safety Dilemma
The Scenario: Your client reveals something that suggests they might harm themselves or others, or discloses illegal activity that could affect innocent people.
Why It’s Problematic: You’re bound by confidentiality, but you also have a responsibility to prevent harm.
How to Solve It:
- Assess immediate risk: Is there imminent danger to your client or others?
- Clarify with your client: “Help me understand—are you saying you’re planning to…?”
- Explore options together: “What support systems do you have? What would help you feel safer?”
- Know your legal obligations: In some jurisdictions, coaches have a duty to report certain disclosures.
- Seek supervision: Contact your supervisor or mentor coach immediately for guidance.
Prevention Strategy: Address confidentiality limits in your initial coaching agreement. Be clear about situations where you might need to break confidentiality.
3. The Competency Boundary Dilemma
The Scenario: Your client presents with issues that seem beyond your training—depression, trauma, addiction, or complex psychological concerns.
Why It’s Problematic: Operating outside your competency can harm your client and expose you to liability.
How to Solve It:
- Acknowledge the situation honestly: “I’m noticing that what you’re describing might benefit from additional support beyond coaching.”
- Maintain your coaching role: Continue to support them in areas where you are competent while addressing the gap.
- Make appropriate referrals: Suggest therapy, counselling, or medical support as needed.
- Collaborate, don’t abandon: “I’m happy to continue our coaching work alongside the therapy you’re receiving.”
Prevention Strategy: Conduct thorough intake sessions. Ask about mental health history, current support systems, and therapy experience.
4. The Organisational Pressure Dilemma
The Scenario: You’re hired by an organisation to coach an employee, but the manager asks for detailed reports about the coaching sessions or wants you to focus on performance issues the client hasn’t identified.
Why It’s Problematic: This compromises client confidentiality and the coaching relationship itself.
How to Solve It:
- Clarify agreements upfront: Establish a three-way conversation with client, manager, and yourself about expectations and boundaries.
- Define what you will and won’t share: “I can share whether sessions are happening and general themes we’re working on, but not specific content.”
- Keep the client in control: “What would you like me to share with your manager about our work together?”
- Document agreements: Put all parties’ agreements in writing.
Prevention Strategy: Always insist on a three-way contracting session. Never begin coaching without clear agreements about confidentiality and reporting.
5. The Personal Agenda Dilemma
The Scenario: You find yourself wanting to push your client toward a particular decision because it aligns with your values, experiences, or business interests.
Why It’s Problematic: Coaching is about the client’s agenda, not yours. Your role is to support their decision-making, not influence the outcome.
How to Solve It:
- Recognise your bias: Notice when you’re attached to a particular outcome for your client.
- Take a step back: “Let me check in with myself here—am I being fully present to your agenda?”
- Return to inquiry: Ask powerful questions that help your client explore all options, not just the one you prefer.
- Seek supervision: Discuss your reactions with your supervisor or mentor coach.
Prevention Strategy: Develop strong self-awareness practices. Regular supervision and peer coaching help you recognise your blind spots.
6. The Scope Creep Dilemma
The Scenario: Coaching sessions gradually become therapy sessions, consulting sessions, or social chats rather than coaching conversations.
Why It’s Problematic: This compromises the effectiveness of the coaching relationship and may put your client’s wellbeing at risk.
How to Solve It:
- Notice the pattern: “I’m noticing our sessions have shifted focus. Let’s pause and check in about what’s most helpful for you.”
- Redirect to coaching: “As your coach, my role is to support you in… How can we refocus on that?”
- Address the underlying need: “It sounds like you might benefit from… in addition to our coaching work.”
- Renegotiate if necessary: Sometimes the client’s needs have genuinely changed, requiring a new agreement.
Prevention Strategy: Begin each session by asking what the client wants to focus on. Regular check-ins about the coaching relationship help maintain boundaries.
7. The Financial Pressure Dilemma
The Scenario: You need the income from a particular client, but you recognise that coaching isn’t serving them well or that the relationship should end.
Why It’s Problematic: Financial dependency can compromise your professional judgement and your client’s wellbeing.
How to Solve It:
- Acknowledge the conflict: Be honest with yourself about how financial pressure might be affecting your decisions.
- Focus on client benefit: “What would truly serve my client best in this situation?”
- Have the difficult conversation: “I’ve been reflecting on our work together, and I’m wondering if coaching is still the right fit for you.”
- Offer alternatives: Suggest other resources, practitioners, or approaches that might serve them better.
Prevention Strategy: Maintain multiple income streams so you’re not overly dependent on any single client. Regular supervision helps you make decisions from a professional rather than financial perspective.
Creating Your Ethical Decision-Making Framework
The key here is to develop a systematic approach to ethical dilemmas in coaching that you can rely on when faced with difficult situations:
- Pause and reflect: Don’t react immediately. Take time to consider the situation carefully.
- Consult the ICF Code of Ethics: Which principles apply to your situation?
- Seek guidance: Contact your supervisor, mentor coach, or professional network.
- Consider multiple perspectives: What are the potential consequences of different actions?
- Make a decision: Choose the path that best serves your client while maintaining professional integrity.
- Learn and adjust: Reflect on the outcome and adjust your practices to prevent similar situations.
Remember, ethical dilemmas are not failures—they’re opportunities to deepen your professionalism and strengthen your practice. The coaches who navigate these situations with integrity are the ones who build lasting, impactful practices.
We wanted to support you with practical tools you can use immediately when facing these challenging situations. That’s what coaching is about—supporting others to make their best decisions while maintaining the highest professional standards.
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